Week 4 -The Road’s A Little Rocky

This has been a tougher week for me.

These last few weeks all we students have been refining our purpose for the course and for our lives. As I mentioned earlier, this is pretty heady stuff, not to be taken lightly.  After all, this is a six-month commitment that requires about an hour of work every day so, you bet I want to maximize my effort and make sure I know what I want.

We’re fortunate in this process by having a Certified Guide to light the way.  He’s been nudging me in no uncertain terms to demand more of myself.  This last week I was encouraged to take another look at my purpose; to explore further its ramifications.  This after I thought I had really refined it very well and I was feeling pretty good about it.  I have to tell you, I was not happy about his point of view.  I was in an uproar; I was protesting; I was … wanting to be right. Ouch!  That’s not who I want to be.  So once I had vented for a while I started the process of re-examining what the needs and desires for myself truly are.

I felt a little like the guy in Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.  There I was, pushed out of my comfort zone, forcing myself to look again at what is important to me and asking myself what is it I am avoiding and seeking answers from a source higher than my habit-prone, what’s for dinner, everyday self.

I was off balance. I was unpleasant. I was grouchy and I didn’t much like being me for a few days.  Then, I began to see more clearly.  The indistinct shapes of my purpose began to come into sharper focus and I have come to realize that my life’s purpose has never changed. I want to develop my awareness to the highest degree I can.  What I’ve been coming to recognize in the last few years is that which Haanel also underscores in The Master Keys: service to others is the highest form of spiritual expression.

So, in a nutshell, my purpose is to take care of myself so I can take care of others.